My Testersheart is violated

My testerheart was violated today! I feel like nothing has meaning, nothing I ever accomplished, ever thought of, ever published, spoke about and learned others: nothing has meaning, seems pale.
I don't trust anybody anymore; for everything I confide somebody in, they will rip it from me, make sure I won't get the credits for work done, won't have any real say in it... Is this my punishment for the earlier mistake I made on the talk on TestNet fallevent?

What happenend?
Two years ago I joined a certain project, it was very rudimentary back then but very much fun. I participated by mail, discussed and followed all updates and progress. This year the group had something more substantial and asked participants. A certain somebody within my company send a question in our test community and a certain other colleague responded, at first not even that enthusiastic. So did I, because I wanted an official participation so much!, and I told the asking colleague that I was allready in the loop of the project. How I longed for this chance! But, today, alas I found out the true nature of my colleague! And I even did some extra work (how naive!) and got a (I'm sure really sincere, yeah right!) compliment on the action. I'm not to participate as member of the official delegation within this project...

And I am heartbroken.
Not only because I feel passed by but - more important- because of stupid reasons! The other person has 'a network' or has 'more years in the business'...what about 'personality?' what about professional enthusiasm? what about 'wanting it soooooo badly?', what about 'feel strong about it'?

I feel sick with anger, sick of grief.
I don't have the energy and enthusiasm to develop anything right now....why should I? somebody else will probably steal it from me, use it for their own use, use me, my ideas or would 'write a book quickly' because 'they are experienced' and quickly put their names on it (how about; youngster have to learn? how about: people who worked for it would also like a chance?).

I know I'm overreacting, but I'm so passionate about my work, my ideas. I feel like my little baby has been ripped out of my arms and is now to be raised by another parent and I'm allowed to debate in a group within my company to deliver ideas so this delegate can present them in the official group.... Like hell I will!